Tenth round

Today I started the tenth treatment round. I walked into the hospital 0850 this morning with my wife and didn't feel excited at all. I knew there would be a short doctor's appointment as they would only walk through the usual and basic blood values and probably listen to what I'd have to say about side effects. Then they would put me in a bed, stick a needle in my arm and pump bags of medicine into my blood. Sometimes there are some very talkative patients in the beds next to me, sometimes not. I always bring a book with me as backup.

I will reveal a secrete. I realised a long while ago, actually very shortly after I got the diagnosis in July last year, that my wife is at a totally different level concerning knowledge of rectal cancer and standard and experimental treatments. When I try and write a summary of the doctor appointments I tend to get some of the details wrong. My knowledge of the Finnish language could contribute to that also though I think I get it all. So, I asked my wife to become a co-author of this blog and write those parts where doctors have given us information.

The doctor said the blood values were ok and that the reason for meeting the doctor actually was to ask me about the neuropathy, i.e. numbness in finger tips and toes. If it gets worse they will have to consider dropping Eloxatin (oxaliplatin) chemo. She then also said that if the cancer goes more or less into a remission they can also continue with just Avastin as it is not a chemo medication and does not cause cumulative side effects like all chemo does. And then she said the same thing we have heard once before, that if the tumors in liver decrease in size enough they will consider resecting, i.e. cutting off the tumors from the liver. My wife asked if radiofrequency ablation, a promising radiation method, is a standard treatment as well and she said yes. It is supposed to give at least almost as good results as resecting the tumours.

My wife also asked about some more experimental treatments but she said that they are experimental and not done in hospitals in Finland as part of standard treatment at all, and they should anyway only be considered and given as last resort when all other means have been tried, and my situation is nowhere near something like that at the moment. She was maybe not that eager to reply to my wife's questions but it didn't matter as we were glad to hear what she had to say anyway. She said that we shouldn't think that they just keep pumping chemo into me and then sending me home for three weeks again, but that the treatment they give is given because they have a goal, to get the cancer into remission or get my liver in resectable condition. My wife said that we're glad to hear that they have such a goal as we also have a goal and it sounds like it's the same one. She then of course said that there's not guarantee this will happen, but that we already knew, of course. But it was very good to hear that they do have a goal because it has not been really clear to us, especially since originally in the summer I was according to the papers sent to "palliative treatment" which is to relieve symptoms only when there is no hope for cure really.

Today was a reading-book-day. I did close to 200 pages of Beatles, written in 1984 by the Norwegian author Lars Saabye Christensen. It is probably among the best Norwegian novels ever written. Actually, I've read it once before at high-school in late 80s. I could remember nothing of the story before I started it again. It must be the chemo, or?