The funeral

Thank you everyone who participated in the O'Connels "Irish wake" on the 8th, the funeral in the church on the 14th, and the memorial service afterwards. I am sorry I could not invite everyone to the memorial service, and I am sorry that some of you I invited didn't understand you had been invited. I guess something was bound to go a bit wrong as there was so many things to arrange, so many decisions to make, and so many people to be in touch with. I also want to apologise to all those who have contacted me if I haven't been in touch with you, there's just been so many things to do and it's been a bit difficult to concentrate. So, sorry, nothing personal.

Music often plays a big role in grieving and it was also important to me in the funeral. I wanted the music not only be beautiful but to have some meaning. I ended up selecting music from Norway, Finland, and Sweden. The Grieg song was suggested to me by the singer who sung in the funeral, and it was very fitting as the lyrics tell about how a spring seems to someone who realises the spring may be the last one they see.

I wanted to share the music from the funeral here in the blog, of course a bit different versions and a different singer, just what I managed to find from Youtube, but I hope you enjoy them.

Oskar Lindberg: Gammal fäbodpsalm från Dalarna (Old Pastoral Hymn from Dalarna)



Grieg: Våren (Spring)



Armas Järnefelt: Berceuse (Lullaby)



Here is the song where the memorial verses were from in the death announcements in newspapers in Norway (first verse) and Finland (last verse).

Thank you

Thank you all our friends all over the world again for all the supportive messages and beautiful flowers the kids and I have received.

There's so many things I have been thinking of adding to the blog, to tell you a bit more about what happened this spring, as Jan Arne's death seemed to happen so fast. But for now our older kid is sleeping next to me on the couch because he had a sore stomach, so it's not the easiest to concentrate, so I just say at least what I need to say, about the funeral.

Jan Arne's funeral will be here in Tampere on the 14th of May at 10 a.m. There will also be an "Irish wake" the previous Sunday in a pub, also here in Tampere, first chatting and reminiscing Jan Arne and then we will hopefully see Manchester United beat Chelsea. This was an idea I discussed with Jan Arne just about a week before he died, that wouldn't it be a good thing to do after he dies, to gather friends and just chat and watch a ManU game.

Many of you have probably received info about these events before already, via email or friends or Facebook, but if you haven't I hope I am now reaching the rest of the people I should, I am very sorry if there's someone out there who is now being forgotten, I simply don't seem to be able to concentrate well enough to remember everything and everybody. He had so many friends...

It's not only lack of concentration, also the kids and daily routines now take more time from me, Jan Arne was so much help at home until the very end. That's actually something I wanted to share with you, he really was in a pretty good condition up until he had to go to the hospital. On Tuesday he still got up 15 minutes before me to prepare breakfast for the kids before I took them to the daycare. On Wednesday he had two friends over for lunch while I went to get new car tyres. When I got back I took the younger kid to a hobby, Jan Arne sent my parents home to rest, I got home, put the kids to bed, and then Jan Arne and I watched some TV (American Idol I think?). His legs were getting worse and worse during the last weeks but he was still able to walk. On Monday we even went to a supermarket to do a little bit of shopping, Jan Arne said he wanted to buy some shampoo but then he said that maybe he can manage with what we had as he felt he was not going to have a long time left. What cheerful conversations we had! I bought him shampoo anyway but he never used it in the end. So as hard as it was to had to let him go, I guess we could not have wished for a better way for him to die, in that he really got to stay at home until almost the very end and in a reasonably good condition. It is still somehow incomprehensible though how fast it all happened in the end. I have been so calm about things that maybe I don't still quite get it. Of course, for the kids as well it has been important to keep the routines, like Easter and First of May celebrations, so I have maybe been too busy to think about... well anything.

Anyway, if you would like to attend either the funeral or the wake and need more information, please send me email to mkuusto at gmail dot com. Just to make sure though, I would like to say here already that in case you come to the funeral, we discussed with Jan Arne that we did not want people to bring any big flower arrangements. If you wish to bring flowers, then just one flower per person. Sorry flower shops, we just would prefer the money to be donated to e.g. cancer research.

Now I'd better try to carry the kid downstairs to his bed...