The end of the road?

The feedback from the CT scan came faster than I thought. Actually, a nurse called me up on Wednesday afternoon a few hours after the scan and said the doctor wanted to see me first thing in the morning (Thursday). I knew it could not be good news and it wasn't. Cancer has clearly spread further in lower parts of lungs. There are now tens of tumours and the biggest was 11 mm in diameter. The old tumours in the liver seem to have died and don't change in size but there was one new tumour that was quite big already (2,9 cm x 2,5 cm). More lymph nodes around the liver had grown in size also.

The doctor said she had discussed my situation with the senior doctor who's pulling the threads behind the scene. The progress of the cancer means the current chemo I'm on does not work and will be discontinued. Unfortunately, there are no good treatment alternatives left and the doctor said moving on to palliative care could be the next step now. That means I would get treatment to relieve suffering and pain. In other words, it's the last stop on the road. I still have the meeting with the senior doctor on 25.11 so we'll discuss through the alternatives there. There is one very old drug left that could be tried and there is the issue of going back to the first chemo I was on. The doctors don't believe any of these two options will have any impact on the cancer but it will only give me all the side effects.

There are also many pros and cons to be considered. For example, is it worth trying something that probably won't work and make me sick while I could feel better and spend time with kids? It could also seem like my body is tired and does not take chemo as well as two years ago. That could be the reason why I've been reacting to Gemzar this autumn.

When I came home yesterday I called up Docrates, a private hospital in Helsinki offering cancer treatments. They are doing experiments using virus treatments to cure cancer. None of the doctors at the hospital where I am now recommend it as it's still very experimental and you have to pay for it yourself. However, we'd like to hear what they possibly could offer. I promised to copy my papers and send them over and a doctor would call me up sometime next week.

Many people ask how I'm doing. Well, pretty fine actually. Living with incurable cancer for 2,5 years has made me somewhat prepared for this situation also.